


What The Fuck, Strand

by BiesFromWildland



Category: The Black Tapes Podcast
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Panic Attacks, i don'r remember in which episode they go through all of the tapes again, or so he says, somwhere in the middle of 3rd season, strand is a demon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-21
Updated: 2018-10-21
Packaged: 2019-08-05 10:15:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16365968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BiesFromWildland/pseuds/BiesFromWildland
Summary: Alex had heard a theory, that won't let her sleep at night. Finally she brings it up to Strand, and then everything goes wrong.





	What The Fuck, Strand

Doctor Richard Strand grew very fond of Alex Regan. More than he was comfortable with. He always tried to keep a safe distance between him and everyone else. He had his reasons to do so - he tried to protect innocent people. 

So he build a wall of lies around himself. Small lies, changing reality only a little, to hide important details, to fit more the personality he created for himself. But Alex… Oh Alex. This woman was so stubborn. So piercing and sharp. Always digging, always looking for clues, wanting to know more and finding ways to expand her knowledge more that it seemed possible. 

Sometimes Strand looked at her in pure amazement, finding himself not able to focus on his work. In times like that he wanted to tell her _everything._ It was painful to watch her struggle and know that answers for all her questions lied so close. But he cared about Alex _too much_ to tell her the truth. 

Except… She found the truth herself. Well. _Almost_ the truth. 

“Strand?” she asked. They were sitting in Strand’s living room, going again and again through all the fact they knew. Well. All the fact _she_ knew. 

“Yes?”

“You know… I was able to talk to your wife a little bit more.” 

“Yes...?” 

“And she said… She said something that weirded me out a little. I mean, more than usual. At this point I’m a little used to everything that’s going on, I even started recovering from my insomnia, but after what she said I can’t sleep anymore, and…” she started rambling, and rambling, like she didn’t really wanted to say what she was about to say.

Strand freezed. He looked at Alex, and then checked for audio recorder. Surprisingly he couldn’t find any device around, but he couldn’t assume that there was none. 

“Alex” Richard interrupted her. “What did she say? What did my wife say?” 

“She said… She… Coralee had a theory. From what she gathered about… About you and your life, and about people that are interested in you… She had a theory. She told me that _you_ can be a _demon._ ” 

Strand looked into Alex’s eyes, full of fear and doubt. He knew what he should do. He should laugh, say it’s stupid, deny it completely here and now. But for some reason the only thing he could do was to open his mouth and stay silent. 

“Strand? Strand, please, say you’re joking.” 

“I… I…” 

“What the fuck, Strand” said Alex, suddenly very angry. “End this right now. This is a very stupid joke and I can’t believe that you could…” 

“Not a demon” Strand whispered. “Not fully...” 

“What?” 

“A half-demon.”

“What.”

Strand sighed. He couldn’t believe he was doing it. He haven’t even revealed the truth to his wife, to whom he was very close. And yet, in this exact moment, he had the audacity to think, that telling the truth to Alex was a good idea. 

“I’m… Sorry Alex.” He mumbled. He was meaning to explain it, but he couldn’t force himself to even look at her. 

For a moment there was quiet. A moment frozen in time, when nobody knows what to think or do. And then, quick angry steps. Strand felt hands catching his collar, lifting him up just a little, but enough to force him to look at Alex. And there she was; _furious_ , breathing heavily, barely holding back. Strand was pretty sure, that Alex, in this very moment, was capable of murder. 

“Cut the bullshit” she hissed. Richard never saw her like this. Angry because of a deep fear, that barely let her stand. She was not just furious - she was also terrified. Strand knew that he was hurting her by telling the truth, but he was sure that he would hurt her even more by withdrawing informations.

He was sure he should have never ever let himself be this close to anyone. He, of course, loved his wife. He loved her in a very weird way, that even he didn’t fully understand. But he wasn’t this close with her, not really. There was something wrong about their relationship and now he knew what. So many secrets between them, so many little lies. He didn’t want to do the same to Alex. He had to hurt her now, to avoid hurting her, _losing her,_ in the future. 

And now, looking at this scared woman, holding and lifting him up, probably ready to kill him on spot, he realized something. He was in love with her. 

He was in fucking love. 

Oh shit. 

“Alex” he said softly. “Please, let me explain everything.” 

Grip haven’t weaken, even a little. Alex was breathing heavily and shivering, absent-looking. 

“Alex…? Alex, I know you’re scared but it’s not as scary as it sounds. I am not a mon…” A moment of hesitation. He isn’t a monster, is he? “I am NOT a monster. I won’t hurt you. Ever. I just know more things that I couldn’t ever tell anyone without telling this. And I haven’t told anyone. You’re first to ever hear it. Alex? Alex, breath.” 

Strand tried to be as gentle as he could and slowly Alex started breathing normally. As soon as she let him down Strand took her to a couch, still mumbling soft comforting words. He sat her down, put a blanket around her arms, once more said that things are not as bad as it seams, and asked her if she wanted a coffee or a tea. She didn’t answer, so he said that he’s going to make some tea for both of them anyway. 

He was nervous to leave her alone right now, but he felt like she needed some space. And he needed a moment to realize what he just did. Because all of this happened so quickly he had problem with thinking clearly. Of course he fucked up, that was the one thing he was sure about. And now he had to do… What exactly? He had to do.... Something. 

In this moment he felt so lost. He didn’t remember going to a kitchen and making the tea, but there he was - standing in the old kitchen, full of weird bottles and scent of old herbs. Before him were two cups with something that was not exactly a tea. From a smell of it he could tell that it was a recipe that his father taught him a long, long time ago. It was made of herbs that were supposed to calm people down and cleanse the atmosphere. As a young boy Richard used to drink it every time he felt bad or weirded out. He hadn’t make it in years, but the old habit must have awaken in the moment of need. 

Strand took the cups and slowly came back to the living room. Alex was still sitting on the couch, but looking a little bit better than before. He gave her one of the cups and after a brief moment of hesitation sat next to her. 

“It doesn’t smell like a tea” said Alex faintly. 

“It isn’t. But it will help.” 

“Then what is it? Some kind of magic?” Strand was sure she wanted it to sound sarcastic, but it ended up sounding… Scared? Or just resigned. 

“If it will make you feel better than no. Just some calming herbs that smell good and taste better.” 

“Please, Richard. Stop lying to me.” 

And again, a moment of silence. She drank a little. He drank a little. Time was passing, Ritchard was sure of it. But he was not sure what he should say, what he should do. He should break the silence, for sure. But with what words? What to say to not make it worse? Could it even become worse? 

Finally he decided that he should say _anything._

“This is… Not a tea, you’re absolutely right. It’s a witchcraft recipe that my father taught me when I was little. When he discovered that I inherited a part of his… Bloodline.” 

“Oh, that’s why he started paying attention to you...” 

“You’re right. He was never a good father but he tried his best to be a good being. Even if he was, well, a demon.” 

“How does it work? How could he be a demon and a good being at the same time? Is it compatible?” 

“Well… To put it simple: he’s more of a fallen angel than a demon.” 

“But if he’s an angel he can’t be a demon.” 

“That’s not how it works. The first generation of demons were all fallen angels. But some of them realized that even if they have fallen they are not an entirely bad beings. Because some things cannot be undone they were demons, but because they wanted to do good… They were good.”

“This… I would like to say that this doesn’t make any sense but it DOES make at least some sense.” Alex sighed and drunk more of her not-a-tea. “So. You are a half-demon, because of your father. Does this mean that all of the black tapes are real? And you really have superpowers?” 

“Yes.” 

“And the world… Is ending?” 

“Well…” Strand started but then he realized that Alex is looking at him. She was very scared, but also very determined. Strand was sure, that even if he said that yes, the world is going to end, she wouldn’t listen. She would keep looking for different answer, she would keep asking questions, she still would have _hope_. “We’re trying our best to not let it happen, aren’t we?” He asked and grinned a little. 

She grinned back. 

“Let’s go back to work. We need to go through everything once more, but this time you will explain everything to me. I need to know how it works, what kind of powers you have, and every little dirty secret that you hold.” 

“Of course. And… Alex?”

“Yes Richard?” 

“We’re keeping all of this… Off the podcast?” 

“Of course we do. We’re trying to save people, not make them have a _panic attack._ ”


End file.
